It was an interesting week. I have been offered a job and am filling out the paperwork now.
I don't have mixed feelings about the offer - it's a good one and I'm blessed to have the opportunity presented to me. Then why do I feel like my heart is missing?
I'll tell you why.
It's because while I have an offer for a full-time, permanent position with a good company, my husband will be out of work in less than a month. This hurts my heart.
Do I feel guilty? Yes. Yes, I do.
Do I want to choose joy instead of this feeling of trepidation like the other shoe is about to drop? Of course, I want to choose joy.
But how? How do I open my heart up to this and accept the goodness God has brought to us? I finally have benefits and can see a doctor. I have a matching 401(k) plan again. I have worked for a year as a contractor with with good people who have supported our search in ways you can't even imagine. Such good people!!!
God has given us brains and opportunities if we just look a bit closer and think about how we can get ahead again.
I honestly believe that so now I just need to learn to let the worry teach me to look for opportunities that work for our benefit.
You said yourself that this is a great opportunity. You know that this is awesome for you so relax. Hubby can get his heath straightened up, get those family papers he'd wanted to take care of and even go back to school. I'm sure he kinda wishes he'd gotten to stay on too but he'll enjoy the time off.
ReplyDeleteIf he were filling out the paperwork and you were not, you'd feel a bit bad but you'd already have plans laid out and either be going for a degree in something or looking for something else. Enjoy this dear. :) It's only patchy clouds and the sun's still shining bright. :)