Most people say that I need to act my age, get involved in the community, maybe run for local office.
I tell most people to give me dark chocolate (with chili), a glass of merlot and reach down to kiss my ass.
Acting my age isn't something I'm likely to do. Life means something to me. It means having fun being with my man, playing MMO's, Facebooking with my insane compadres in past crimes, keeping a low profile with my camera and keeping my fat foot in check on my turbo Mazda.
I am who I am. Deal with it, I say :)
Being an actor? Nah, but if I did, I'd play a woman like Mags on Justified or, better yet, Jessica Tandy who said what was on her mind with poise, grace and humor and a bit of snark.
I can do snark pretty damn well. I like snark.
What I'd really like to do is help women veterans like myself. Some disabled (like me) and some that are not but all who are in need of some damn help. The enormous spirit of a woman cannot be defined or placed in some kind of mold. It is there - it is real and it needs to be respected.
Let's be straight about something. I'm not saying every woman out there deserves respect. Respect has to be commanded and some women don't think enough of themselves to command respect.
Demand respect? I don't demand anything of anyone. Just not the way of things for me. But command it. I'd better be on my damn p's and q's when I walk in a room and my actions speak for me. My response and my handling of situations in my life is how I command respect for myself. It comes naturally if I allow it to.
I don't like the spotlight but I am the center of attention in my own world. I like that because the people around me are comfortable to me. They fall in line with my way of doing things. They offer me chances to explore and grow by introducing new ideas and new philosophies.
They are my people. They are my "50".
Simple observations about my life
12 April 2013
29 May 2012
Reflection
Dwelling on the past isn't something I do often these days. It was a decision I made after removing the ex-as...., er, ex-husband from my life. I remember well that when I finally did get a great-paying job, I used my first check to skip the rent and buy him a plane ticket back across the country and out of my life. I didn't stay in that apartment long after that so rent didn't matter.
It was a trying time for me then. I was between homes so I slept in my small Honda which I would park in church parking lots and hope I wouldn't be bothered. I carried a weapon, ate from church pantries and did the best I could. Many nights of cold, bitter reflection met up with me in the streets of Atlanta - having guns pointed at my heart (he said it wasn't loaded but I'll never forget the click as he pulled the trigger), having my throat cut (the scars are healed completely), enduring the dealers that the ex used to hang out with who would come by the apartment, peck on my window at night and make noises. Scared the crap out of me when one of them came by as I was planting flowers.
He had 2 big, burly bodyguards. I gave him the phone number where he could find the ex and explained about the divorce. He didn't believe me until I showed him the papers but left me with a threat that he'd better have his money. I told him I'd call the police if he showed up again.
That neighborhood, once a nice place to live, was getting rough. The week I moved out, someone was breaking into another apartment and I was asked to try and identify him from the back of a police car. The "line-up" was at the back of another police car. The car I was in shined the lights on 5 young men and I was asked to pick one out. I kept telling the nice officers that it was night and I wasn't sure which one it was but they really wanted to arrest someone that night. I was just glad it wasn't me.
The day I moved out, a gunfight several doors down. I swear, I don't know how I made it out of that one.
I'm just an average woman with average dreams. I didn't do anything special in my life for myself except joining the Army @ 21 and marrying my 2nd husband. Both have been the best time of my life.
I was impressionable after getting out of the Army so when the ex- talked me into getting out and joining him across country, I did.
I was a fool.
The only good that came out of that situation was meeting his mother. I still tear up when I think about her. She is a special woman.
That life seems like a really bad B-Movie now and there are aspects that I still have problems remembering. Someone can show me a picture from teenage or childhood years or even when I was in the Army and I'll be damned if I can remember being there.
Sometimes, a memory will sneak up on me and throw me to the dogs. Loud, sudden sounds never used to startle me. They made me duck or dodge but startle? No.
Nowadays, I nearly faint when I hear a really loud sudden noise (like thunder, for example).
It's all a matter of perspective, though. I have someone to catch me when I start to fall now. He never lets me hit the ground. If I'm scared, he puts a weapon in my hand and says "All you have to do is point it in their general direction and I guarantee you'll never have to shoot it. People are funny about things like that." Then we laugh and all is well again in my world.
(edited 10/5/2012)
It was a trying time for me then. I was between homes so I slept in my small Honda which I would park in church parking lots and hope I wouldn't be bothered. I carried a weapon, ate from church pantries and did the best I could. Many nights of cold, bitter reflection met up with me in the streets of Atlanta - having guns pointed at my heart (he said it wasn't loaded but I'll never forget the click as he pulled the trigger), having my throat cut (the scars are healed completely), enduring the dealers that the ex used to hang out with who would come by the apartment, peck on my window at night and make noises. Scared the crap out of me when one of them came by as I was planting flowers.
He had 2 big, burly bodyguards. I gave him the phone number where he could find the ex and explained about the divorce. He didn't believe me until I showed him the papers but left me with a threat that he'd better have his money. I told him I'd call the police if he showed up again.
That neighborhood, once a nice place to live, was getting rough. The week I moved out, someone was breaking into another apartment and I was asked to try and identify him from the back of a police car. The "line-up" was at the back of another police car. The car I was in shined the lights on 5 young men and I was asked to pick one out. I kept telling the nice officers that it was night and I wasn't sure which one it was but they really wanted to arrest someone that night. I was just glad it wasn't me.
The day I moved out, a gunfight several doors down. I swear, I don't know how I made it out of that one.
I'm just an average woman with average dreams. I didn't do anything special in my life for myself except joining the Army @ 21 and marrying my 2nd husband. Both have been the best time of my life.
I was impressionable after getting out of the Army so when the ex- talked me into getting out and joining him across country, I did.
I was a fool.
The only good that came out of that situation was meeting his mother. I still tear up when I think about her. She is a special woman.
That life seems like a really bad B-Movie now and there are aspects that I still have problems remembering. Someone can show me a picture from teenage or childhood years or even when I was in the Army and I'll be damned if I can remember being there.
Sometimes, a memory will sneak up on me and throw me to the dogs. Loud, sudden sounds never used to startle me. They made me duck or dodge but startle? No.
Nowadays, I nearly faint when I hear a really loud sudden noise (like thunder, for example).
It's all a matter of perspective, though. I have someone to catch me when I start to fall now. He never lets me hit the ground. If I'm scared, he puts a weapon in my hand and says "All you have to do is point it in their general direction and I guarantee you'll never have to shoot it. People are funny about things like that." Then we laugh and all is well again in my world.
(edited 10/5/2012)
16 May 2012
You're Blogging Me!
A friend of mine says the written word is a lost art. "Nobody writes letters by hand anymore. I used to get letters all the time. Now? An email that I might miss because a unknown logic says it's 'spam'".
"What were the letters about?"
"Oh, you know. Weather. Family. Sickness. Throw in a recipe card every now and then to something that reminds you of homemade dishes that you may - or may not have - eaten growing up. All homey-like goodness in every loop and line."
"Blogging does the same thing. Only faster."
"Yes, but you can't delete what you say after you've licked the stamp and put it in a mailbox. With online blogging and such, you can always go back and edit or erase whatever you meant to say in the first place. You fool yourself into thinking that you're brilliant when all along you've just bullshitted not only yourself - but your audience, too."
"Why's that?"
"If you said what you meant the first time, there's no need to take it back."
Since I'm hanging on to every word being said, this is a clue to me that next time one of my explanations is regarded as iffy and someone says, "That's such a load of Blog!", I'll know exactly what they mean.
"What were the letters about?"
"Oh, you know. Weather. Family. Sickness. Throw in a recipe card every now and then to something that reminds you of homemade dishes that you may - or may not have - eaten growing up. All homey-like goodness in every loop and line."
"Blogging does the same thing. Only faster."
"Yes, but you can't delete what you say after you've licked the stamp and put it in a mailbox. With online blogging and such, you can always go back and edit or erase whatever you meant to say in the first place. You fool yourself into thinking that you're brilliant when all along you've just bullshitted not only yourself - but your audience, too."
"Why's that?"
"If you said what you meant the first time, there's no need to take it back."
Since I'm hanging on to every word being said, this is a clue to me that next time one of my explanations is regarded as iffy and someone says, "That's such a load of Blog!", I'll know exactly what they mean.
Photo by TateTwo Studios
15 May 2012
Wolfgang Puck Saved My Bacon!
Mama didn't get new shoes (ok, well, she did but not for my anniversary) but I got something just as awesome!
Wolfgang Puck cookware!!! and let me tell you, it makes the most perfect bacon. I've cooked bacon for 49 years (well, almost 30 - toddlers can't cook, right?) and it usually ends up being nasty burned in the middle and raw on the outer edges. Just awful!
This cookware is so completely different!
It distributes the heat all the way around forcing me to lower the temperature almost to LOW. Then I pop the lid on and just a few minutes later, I have perfect bacon! Cleanup? A total breeze with just a scouring pad and nice hot water and BAM! no mess! Better than non-stick surfaces because now I can use the stainless steel utensils that came with it. No silicone here, baby!
I love bacon. *sigh*
What shall I cook next?
I'm thinking bourbon chicken.....mmmmm.....bourbon chicken.
Maybe I'll throw in some bacon.
There's a thought.
Wolfgang Puck cookware!!! and let me tell you, it makes the most perfect bacon. I've cooked bacon for 49 years (well, almost 30 - toddlers can't cook, right?) and it usually ends up being nasty burned in the middle and raw on the outer edges. Just awful!
This cookware is so completely different!
It distributes the heat all the way around forcing me to lower the temperature almost to LOW. Then I pop the lid on and just a few minutes later, I have perfect bacon! Cleanup? A total breeze with just a scouring pad and nice hot water and BAM! no mess! Better than non-stick surfaces because now I can use the stainless steel utensils that came with it. No silicone here, baby!
I love bacon. *sigh*
What shall I cook next?
I'm thinking bourbon chicken.....mmmmm.....bourbon chicken.
Maybe I'll throw in some bacon.
There's a thought.
14 May 2012
Tulsa Garden Center - Greenhouse
The Tulsa Garden Center was quite lovely what with the Bonsai show (see pics on previous post) and the beautiful day it was!
Here are a few pictures of the plants inside their greenhouse. Enjoy!
Mother's Day - Bonsai !!!
It was a gloriously beautiful day today! The sun was shining bright! Families were out in the park enjoying the great outdoors and the Rose Garden, the wind was just right and the Garden Center had a bonsai plant sale going on! Woo hoo! Here's some photos of our day - hope you enjoy them! ~~ Nita
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