04 April 2012

Dealing With Worry - The Sordid Truth

It was an interesting week. I have been offered a job and am filling out the paperwork now.

I don't have mixed feelings about the offer - it's a good one and I'm blessed to have the opportunity presented to me. Then why do I feel like my heart is missing?

I'll tell you why.

It's because while I have an offer for a full-time, permanent position with a good company, my husband will be out of work in less than a month. This hurts my heart.

Do I feel guilty? Yes. Yes, I do.

Do I want to choose joy instead of this feeling of trepidation like the other shoe is about to drop? Of course, I want to choose joy.

But how? How do I open my heart up to this and accept the goodness God has brought to us? I finally have benefits and can see a doctor. I have a matching 401(k) plan again. I have worked for a year as a contractor with with good people who have supported our search in ways you can't even imagine. Such good people!!!

God has given us brains and opportunities if we just look a bit closer and think about how we can get ahead again.

I honestly believe that so now I just need to learn to let the worry teach me to look for opportunities that work for our benefit.